


Short lived

by Zinniakii



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crushes, Fluff, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29501283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinniakii/pseuds/Zinniakii
Summary: Harry finds out that Draco may have interest in him. Harry feels bad for him and decides to date him out of pity. Guilt continues to eat up at him which causes him to make decisions that just get him deeper into the mess. He fears he may not be able to escape.(I will add tags as I go)
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. Shaky

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fanfic or any story for that matter so please go easy on me. ;) ALSO this was written over several weeks so please forgive any discrepancies.

Harry was running through the hallways, his tie hung loosely around his neck as he ignored the paintings’ greetings. Harry had woken up late, he was almost at the Great Hall when he heard three familiar voices. He stopped, Harry convinced himself it was to catch a breath and not to listen in. “How’s ‘Operation Potter’ going?” a snarky voice belonging to Pansy asked, Harry began going red. “Of course they were making fun of him,” he thought, Harry breathed out and kept listening.

“We’re still talking about him?” Blaise sighed, evidently disappointed. Draco huffed and crossed his arms, “It’s not like I want to talk about it either, Pansy is just obsessed with my love life.” he mumbled. Harry was visibly confused, “love life?” he mouthed, he hadn’t recalled anything about a girl. “Has he realised you’re making moves on him?” Pansy asked. Draco rolled his eyes, “He’s as oblivious as a rock.” he huffed. “Potter’s got herds of girls surrounding him, even if he did fancy blokes it’s not like you’ve got much of a chance.” Blaise reasoned. Draco bit at the inside of his cheek and looked down at his shoes. “So let’s stop talking about it,” Blaise continued. Pansy snorted, “He may not have a chance but we can enjoy embarrassing him.” she teased. “So now you’re just making fun of me? He shrilled. Draco made an abrupt turn towards the corner Harry was hiding behind, he quickly scrambled away trying to make as little noise as possible.

Harry walked into the Great Hall with his hair messier than usual and sweat covering his neck and face, he glanced over at the Gryffindor table and spotted Ron and Hermione. He walked over not even attempting to fix up his hair, “Don’t talk with your mouth full!.” she scolded. Ron pouted, “Ah, you finally made it, mate.” Hermione looked up at him,” Good morning Harry, did you sleep well?.” Harry gave them both dirty looks

Harry planted himself on the bench right next to Ron and across Hermione. Harry leaned back on his arms and blew out harshly “ What happened mate?” Ron asked with bread stuffed into his mouth. Harry hit the side of his fist against the table and leaned in,” guess what I found out” he whispered. Ron quickly swallowed all the bread down which almost looked painful, “what?” “I think Malfoy fancies me,” Ron’s body visibly relaxed. “ Very funny Harry”, he mused. Harry looked back and forth, his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not lying!” He yelled. Hermione made a frantic motion with her hand and shushed him. Harry gave a dirty look and huffed, “No Ron, I overheard him and his friends talking, he said he  _ liked me _ .” He ended the sentence with a grimace. “So Malfoy fancies men then, huh.” Ron had a smug look on his face. Ron looked down at his food, “It doesn’t really make sense,” Harry nodded. They sat there for a while in silence. 

Harry rested his chin on his palm and slouched. “I think we could use this,” Ron announced with a confident look on his face. Harry and Hermione both gave him a look of concern, “I mean get back at him for being a prick.” Harry sat up straight, “ I mean that’s not a  _ bad _ idea.” Ron nodded quickly as if not to give Harry any time to back out. “It’s easy really, he already likes you so just ask him out and then break his heart after a few weeks.” He rested his hands on his hips triumphantly. “Actually now that I think about it, it’s kinda mean. Let’s scrap it.” “I agree, it’s terrible to toy with someone’s feelings.” Hermione piped up after a long period without speaking. Harry looked down at his food and redirected the conversation, “We better head to class.” 

Draco was tapping his foot impatiently outside of his first class of the day, “ Fucking ungrateful pricks, I open myself up and then get made fun of.” He muttered to himself. The professor eventually opened the door and he pushed his way in, walking straight to the back of the class. He pulled out some parchment and a quill and then immediately everything faded away. His head became filled with thoughts of Potter, his chest began to hurt, and his heart beat irregularly. Just thinking about asking him out made him flush red and his palms sweat. He spent the whole class debating whether or not he should profess his love. He left class that day with his stride a little shakier than usual. 

When all the classes were over Harry began walking towards the common room but was stopped by a heavily sweating Malfoy. “I ahhh.. need to talk to you,” he explained. Harry was a little taken aback. Malfoy’s steps were forceful and his arms swayed rigidly, keeping a good distance from Harry the entire walk. They ended up at a large tree by the lake a good distance from the castle, Harry looked over at Malfoy and put on his most unassuming face. Malfoy blushed furiously at that and tried to hold it back by clenching his jaw but failed miserably. Harry wished he could laugh but kept a painful straight face. 

“Well get it out then Malfoy,” Harry urged. “I think I like you,” his voice cracked embarrassingly at the word like. He immediately looked down at his hands which he was unknowingly rubbing together. Malfoy’s mouth began to shake and he closed his eyes, preparing himself for rejection. Harry’s throat closed up and he began to feel guilty. “I like you too Malfoy!” he shouted as enthusiastically as possible. Draco froze like a deer in headlights, he cautiously looked up and saw the other boy’s empathetic eyes. “You do? No this has to be a joke, right?” Draco bit his lip and made tight fists with his hands. Harry put a reassuring hand on the other boy’s shoulder, “It’s not a joke.” Harry whispered. Draco stopped for a second and then pressed his cheek against Harry’s hand. Harry pulled away slowly, not knowing what to do. Draco stood there silently for a painstakingly long minute and then shakily reached out towards Harry, “Can I... hold your hand?” The last part was barely a whisper. Harry couldn’t lie to him anymore so he just nodded.


	2. Fake it till you make it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I’m not super proud of this chapter but it’s kinda necessary for Harry’s character development. Y’know? so we can understand his motivations for what happens later on or whatever

By the time Draco got back to the dungeons it was late in the afternoon. He quickly jumped onto his bed and sighed. The Slytherin turned onto his side and curled into a ball, mindlessly pulling at his robes. He still felt the heat and tingling from the Gryffindor’s touch. Even the loud footsteps and chattering of the Slytherins no longer irked him. He was so fixated on what just happened to him that he didn’t notice Pansy and Blaise enter the room. “What happened to you?” Pansy asked, genuinely concerned. Draco dropped the pillow he was hugging and frantically stood up. “Nothing,” he lied. Pansy crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Blaise shared a look of second-hand embarrassment from behind her and covered his face. They all stood there in silence for what felt like forever. “I’m serious, nothing happened,” He reassured. Pansy sighed, “It’s fine if you don’t want to tell us but… something just feels off about you. Draco fell back onto his bed and shook his head, “Just leave already.” Both of them left with unsatisfied faces. Draco turned his head to look out the window and watched the sunset through his thin, blonde hair. The orange and yellow of the sky were warm and vibrant only making him miss Harry more. 

The moment he opened the door to the Gryffindor he was bombarded by questions from Ron and Hermione. He lightly pushed them aside which seemed to calm them down a little. He explained that he was just tired and they begrudgingly let him through. He walked quickly to the dormitory, ignoring the other two Gryffindors’ whispering. Thankfully no one was inside so he could contemplate everything in peace. He crossed his legs and slouched onto his hands. “Why didn’t I say no,” he whispered to himself. Harry’s chest began to hurt and he felt tears trailing down to his neck. “Why am I fucking crying?” He breathed painfully. He let his neck fall all the way down and buried his face, along with his unkempt hair, into the dark red sheets. He wondered about how he was going to tell Draco the truth but he came up short, nothing was good enough. He could only do one thing, be the best fucking liar of a boyfriend if his life depended on it. 

The morning light tickled Harry’s cheeks and eyelid, he propped himself up and looked around. His eyes were dry and puffed up, He noticed his glasses were on his desk, but didn’t remember taking them off. It was too early for him to think about it so he ignored it. The other boys were still sleeping peacefully so he opened the door to the bathroom as quietly as possible. He looked in the mirror and sheepishly brushed his hair back with his hands, it was thick, coarse, and stood up messily. He quickly flicked the tap on and washed his face before leaving for breakfast. He walked the quiet halls and saw a familiar blonde head of hair. He bit at the inside of his mouth and stiffly walked over to him. “Hi Malfoy,” he greeted while grazing the other boy’s arm on purpose. Draco’s shoulders jolted up and he awkwardly spun around. “Oh, hi Potter!,” he replied with a flushed face. Harry tried his best to keep his eyes out of sight, the other boy was much brighter than usual and Harry was having a hard time not staring. “So you want to do something later?” Harry asked. “Really- I mean sure, how about lunch?” Draco suggested. Harry nodded with a forced smile. “ Ok I’ll tell you more once I figure everything out.” Draco said with a childlike grin on his face.  
Harry walked away quickly and dropped the painful tone he was using. He spent the rest of the day trying to get the cheerful image of Draco out of his mind. He realised it was all in vain when Draco walked up to him right after his second class of the day. “Ready for lunch?” Draco asked, Harry scratched his neck and told Draco he was. The Slytherin lead Harry to a cluster of bushes by the Forbidden Forest. Harry looked down at the blanket and the basket of assorted foods, “Very romantic.” Draco cocked his head, “ It’s our first date obviously it’s meant to be romantic,” he laughed. The reality of the moment hit Harry like a train, he rubbed his arm and sat down on the blanket. The grass poked uncomfortably through it but he eventually forgot about it.  
Draco immediately reached for the lamb chops but hesitated when he saw Harry staring at him, “Want some?” Harry didn’t notice how much he was staring at Draco until then, “ Uh sure,” he replied. Draco grabbed one with his non-dominant hand and held it in front of Harry’s mouth, Harry was stunned for a moment but eventually took it in his mouth. Harry didn’t know why but his neck and face felt hot, he looked at the ground and picked at a blade of grass. He chewed on the lamb bone until it broke and had to spit it out. Draco tried to stop his laughter by covering his mouth, normally Harry would be annoyed but it was sort of endearing. He rested his chin on his hand and restrained a smile.


	3. Caught like a cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this chapter is really short but I felt weird ending it any earlier or later so pls forgive me :,)

Harry left for his next class looking like he had just ran a mile. The other’s unassuming gestures and uncharacteristic messy face. He looked down at his calloused hands and covered his face in embarrassment even though no one was around.   
“He was different today,” Draco thought to himself. He had an unrestrained smile on his face “It was… cute.” He buried his head into his pillow and relaxed his shoulders. “ Yep, he is definitely dating Potter.” Pansy nodded with an ‘I told you’ look on her face. Blaise rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed, “ Well now that we know what do we do?” Pansy stood for a second, she hadn’t thought about what was next. “ Well,” she extended the L but didn’t continue her sentence.  
The Gryffindor leaned on the wall outside the room of his last class. Harry was muttering to himself, feelings of guilt caught up to him again and trying to avoid it was like running on a treadmill. He promised himself that he would be a good boyfriend but how was he going to do that without knowing a rat’s ass about Draco? He stood there for almost ten minutes before deciding that he needed help. Before he knew it he was in front of the Slytherin common room hesitating to knock. He eventually gathered the courage to and he was greeted by a student he didn’t recognize, “ uhh… can I talk to Blaise or Pansy?” The girl slammed the door close and Harry heard her yelling the two’s names’. Soon they both walked out with confused looks on their faces, “ What business does Saint Potter have in the dungeons?” Pansy immediately asked. Blaise shook his head, disappointed and whispered to Pansy, her face lit up with a mischievous smile. “ It’s about Draco isn’t it?” “I just need help, don’t be bitches about it.” “Watch your potty mouth, Potty,” Harry hated how many nicknames they had for him. “We’ll help you but how do we know that this isn’t one big ruse so you can get dirt on him?” Pansy questioned. Harry almost slapped his forehead and Blaise just hit Pansy on the arm. Harry was ready to get on his knees and start pleading but was interrupted by Blaise. “Don’t listen to Pansy, we’ll help you.” he reassured.   
It was almost seven o’clock when Harry finished his notes with a messy flick. He breathed out and sat up straight, stretching his back. “I think this is more than I’ll ever need to know about anyone,” Harry whined.” Pansy crossed her arms, “Where’s my thanks?” she said in a joking tone. Later, Harry stood up and walked them out of the Gryffindor dorms, “Seriously, thank you.” Harry said in a sheepish tone. Pansy had a cheeky smile, “I’m just glad somebody’s treating that prat well,” she admitted.


	4. The rain clouded my vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the chapter isn’t as good as I wished but I’m still posting it because idk how to improve it. I still hope you guys enjoy it tho 💕

Even with the plethora of information given to Harry he couldn’t seem to think of anything for a date. His thinking was interrupted by Ron, “Hey, Harry wanna play a game of chess.” Harry shook his head, there was no way he could win against him and he was already beat from two straight hours of Pansy talking. Ron made a disappointed noise, “You never refuse a game.” Harry lightly shrugged, “I bet Hermione will play,” Ron was about to close the door behind him but hesitated, “You can tell me if something’s wrong, you know.” Harry turned away from him and looked down at his notebook, “I just- have a lot on my mind.” He wasn’t lying.  
He got up again with shadows under his eyes from another sleepless night. Harry noticed the faint pattering of rain outside his window, he didn’t bother with a coat or umbrella.  
He found that he repeated the conversation from the day before and was on his way to lunch with Draco. He exited the castle with him, the two walking side by side. The wind pushed against the two harshly, causing Draco to shudder. Rain painted the pavement dark and Harry couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of it. “It’s quite dreary isn’t it?” Draco said with an exaggerated frown. Harry ran his hand through his wet hair and watched the droplets fall from his fingers, “ It’s sort of relaxing.” Draco looked up at the sky and opened a relaxed mouth, Harry tilted his head down but kept his eyes in Draco’s neck. He wanted to reach over to the boy and take his cheek, press against him until his lips bruised but he didn’t.  
They walked over to a small pavilion which didn’t seem to have a use until then. Draco sat down on the ground, right next to where Harry was. The other boy was caught a little off guard but didn’t say anything. He found talking to Draco even more difficult than usual like he was choking on his own saliva. He absentmindedly stared at his hands which had grease from food he hadn’t remembered eating. Why didn’t I kiss him? he kept thinking, brushed his lip lightly with his pointer and middle finger. “Hey Potter,” Draco said quietly. Harry jumped slightly at his voice, “ Uh, yeah?” Draco leaned towards the other boy slightly with a strong flush on his face and ears. “Can I call you Harry?” It was that same voice crack from the when Draco confessed. This triggered something like a thread had just snapped.  
Harry leaned in and cupped Draco’s cheek causing Draco to make a less than proper noise. Harry whispered a desperate “Yes.” and moved towards Draco’s lips. He stopped himself before impact, “May I?” He asked with a slight smile on his face. Draco somehow turned redder and nodded frantically, Harry pressed up against the other boy until there were no gaps between them. Harry knew that Draco was blushing but the heat given off was new, he loved how it felt, contrasting with the cold rain. Draco had been frozen and sat underneath Harry rigidly. The sloppy noises made by Harry urged him to move and he began to push back and clumsily grabbed onto the soaked fabric of Harry’s robes. He could feel Harry smile into the kiss. “Harry,” the word came out ugly and rough and the Gryffindor couldn’t remember why he hadn’t kissed him before.


	5. Let Me Leave

Harry pulled away from Draco and looked down at his face. Draco’s face was red and the corners of his lips were pulled back. The boy leaned in to continue the kiss but Harry pushed him away and got up. “We have class soon,” he lied through his teeth, Harry had no idea what time it was but wanted to get away. Draco frowned, “ You don’t wanna skip?” He teased with his hands and knees supporting him. “With my grades, no way.” The Slytherin looked down at the cement and quietly let him leave.  
Harry walked away and smoothed his soaked robes. He wanted to look back but feared that he wouldn't be able to leave. He bit his lip and wiped Draco’s saliva off of his mouth. Hearing the faint clicking of Draco’s shoes clicking against the ground made him speed up.   
The grass and pavement were no longer wet but the air still felt humid against his skin. Hermione and Ron left for the dorms together, giggling and whispering to each other. Harry was confident he knew what they were going to do and opted to stay behind. He wandered the quiet hallways trying to occupy himself. He felt someone grab his arm and turned around, surprised. It was Draco, he held back his relief. The Slytherin’s hand felt like it was burning his skin but Harry was reluctant to pull away. “Hi Draco,” Harry breathed out, calming himself down. Draco shifted his weight between legs, “Oh, did I startle you?” He looked down, regret apparent in his eyes. Harry shook his head, “No I was just- well I guess you did surprise me a little,” he admitted. Draco nodded, “Sorry about that,” he laughed to himself, “ Do you… wanna hangout more- like right now.” His mouth was left parted slightly, Harry could see him biting his tongue. “I can’t today, Hermione and Ron are waiting for me.” He lied. Harry tried his best to look away from the Slytherin but his eyes kept going back to his lips. Draco furrowed his eyebrows , “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” It came out as more of a question. Harry began to turn around when Draco hugged him, his arms felt thin and fragile. Harry stopped and breathed in miserably. Fearing he would hurt Draco if he pulled away too quickly, he patted Draco’s back awkwardly and delicately removed the other boy’s hands. “I really have to go.” He walked away and the distance between them began to feel unbearable, he rounded the corner and entered the nearest bathroom. He didn’t want to return to the dorms so this was his next best option. He shakily closed the door to the stall and waited until he was sure Draco had left. He closed the lid of the toilet and sat down, bringing his legs up. Nothing. He lowered one leg but the sound of the door opening stopped him. His breath hitched when he heard the sound of Draco’s shoes clicking across the floor. Draco pathetically dragged his shoes across the wet tile and stopped when he saw himself in the mirror. His eyes were glossy and puffed up, he wiped harshly at it and tried to stay quiet even if it hurt. His legs gave out and the tears wouldn't stop. “Fuck-,” he choked out “ I shouldn’t- nothing happened.” his sentence ended with him yelling. He claws at his lungs, gasping for air like he was trapped underwater. Harry was watching through the gap in the stall, his body tense and vision blurry. He shakily reached for the lock on the door. His eyes refocused and he caught himself, after this there’s no getting out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the chapter is really short AGAIN. I've just been having trouble articulating information/feelings properly (in the story lol) also love you guys, seriously the support is really helpful <3


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